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John Bull's Womankind Les Filles de John Bull

John Bull's Womankind
Les Filles de John Bull
Category:
Author: O'Rell Max
Title: John Bull's Womankind Les Filles de John Bull
Release Date: 2018-07-15
Type book: Text
Copyright Status: Public domain in the USA.
Date added: 27 March 2019
Count views: 64
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Transcriber’s Note

The cover image was created by the transcriber for the convenience of the reader,and it is placed in the public domain.

Twenty-Fifth Thousand.

THE LEADENHALL PRESS

MAX O’RELL.

John Bull’s
Womankind

(Les Filles de John Bull)

BY THE AUTHOR OF
“John Bull and his Island”

HALF-A-CROWN: CLOTH, THREE-AND-SIX.

Publisher's device

LONDON:
FIELD & TUER; SIMPKIN, MARSHALL & CO.; HAMILTON, ADAMS & CO.

(English Copyright Edition. All Rights Reserved.)

Crest

By Appointment to
H.R.H. the Princess
of Wales.

Crest

By Appointment to
Her Majesty the
Queen.

Crest

By Appointment to
H.I.M. Empress of
Russia.

REDFERN,
Ladies’ Tailors and Habit Makers

COWES, ISLE OF WIGHT; 26, CONDUIT STREET, LONDON;PARIS; and NEW YORK.

“At the Concours Hippique, we noticed a striking fact this year, that nearly allTHE people were dressed à la Redfern. And also in the Bois, one is not consideredat all ‘pschutt’ in the morning unless habittee par ce tailleurcelebre.”—Continental Times, Paris, April 12th, 1884.

A smartly dressed woman

“I heard a lady say lately she had never seen a Dress of Redfern’s on abad figure, but I expect the truth is that Redfern’s Gowns make a figure lookwell, however little nature may have done for it.”—Life, Nov. 12th, 1884.

Specialities: WALKING & TRAVELLING GOWNS,JACKETS, ULSTERS & RIDING HABITS,Quiet, Lady-like Style, with Perfect Fit and Finish.

Full Sets of Newest Patterns and Designs, post free, from Cowes, where theart of fitting perfectly without a personal visit is especially studied; or onview at 26, Conduit Street, Bond Street, London.

JOHN REDFERN & SONS devote personal study and care toeach order entrusted to them.

A young woman

ROWLANDS’ MACASSAR OIL

Serves and beautifies the hair; it contains no lead or mineral ingredients, and can behad in a golden colour for fair-haired children and persons. Sizes, 3s. 6d., 7s., 10s. 6d.equal to four small.

ROWLANDS’ ODONTO

Is the best and most fragrant preparation for the teeth.All dentists allow that neither washes nor paste are asefficacious for polishing the teeth and keeping themsound and white as a pure and non-gritty tooth powder;such Rowlands’ Odonto has always proved itself.

ROWLANDS’ KALYDOR

Is the most cooling, healing, and refreshing wash forthe face, hands and arms, and is perfectly free from anymineral or metallic admixture; it disperses freckles,tan, redness, pimples, and produces a beautiful anddelicate complexion.

ROWLANDS’ EUKONIA

Is a beautifully pure, delicate, and fragrant toilet powder. Each box has inside the lid acertificate of purity from Dr. Redwood, Ph.D., F.C.S., &c. Sold in three tints, white, rose,and cream, 2s. 6d. per box. Ask any Chemist or Hairdresser for Rowlands’ articles, of 20Hatton Garden, London.

EVERY DAUGHTER OF JOHN BULL
SHOULD READ

NEW
VOLUME
COMMENCES
WITH THE
NOVEMBER
MONTHLY
PART.

Finger pointing right   THE Girls
Own
Paper.

6d.
MONTHLY,
OR
ONE PENNY
WEEKLY.

LONDON: 56, Paternoster Row,
AND OF ALL NEWSVENDORS.

Publisher's logo

FIELD & TUER
Ye Leadenhalle Presse, E.C.
T. 4199.

[iii]

TO MRS. JOHN BULL.

Dear Madam,

Now please not to frown, still less to cryout, “Shocking!”

I assure you, you may turn over the leaves of thisbook from beginning to end without fear of encounteringa single piece of indiscretion.

I know that fresh air and cold water are yourdelight. You dearly love to shiver at the contact of adripping sponge; but your door is carefully closed,and I have seen nothing.

It is not your undraped photograph that I publish,it is the litany of your good qualities that I sing.

May I be allowed here to say freely what I think?

Well, dear Madam, I think that, if the humanrace, including Mr. Bull your husband, felt for youhalf the admiration which your charms and virtuesinspire in me, you would be justly proclaimed thegoddess of conjugal felicity.

Now you ought to give me a smile for that, Ithink.

[iv]Open this little volume fearlessly, dear Madam,and if you should light upon any mention—I willnot say of your faults, for most certainly you havenone—but of some few little oddities perhaps, do notbe offended; but remember that our real friends arethose who tell us the truth—en ami, of course—butstill who do tell it us.

[v]

CONTENTS.

  PAGE
To Mrs. John Bull iii
Hors d’œuvre ix
I.
Flirtation — Sweethearting — Love in the Open Air — Oùil y a de la gêne il n’y a pas de plaisir 1
II.
Declarations of Love — Kisses — Disobliging Britons 8
III.
Love in Marriage — Mrs. John Bull’s Bedroom — Asyou make your Bed, so you must lie on it — YoungPeople, English and French — How it may sometimesbe an economy to take your Wife with youwhen you travel on the Continent 12
IV.
The Marriage Ceremony in England — Civil Marriages — Elopements — Marriagein Scotland — Show yourCredentials — One word more about the dot 22
V.
After the Ball — My Wife makes me a little Confidence(from the Diary of a Frenchman married to anEnglishwoman) 30
[vi]VI.
The Beauty of English Women — Their Dress — TheirHair — Advice to French Ladies — Hyde Park — Interiorof English Theatres — O Routine! such isthy Handiwork! 37
VII.
The Word and the Thing — Little Essay on the EnglishLanguage — There is nothing like a good Telescopeif you want to see well — Master Dubius — PuritanParlance — Salvation Fair — May Meetings andSpring Cleanings — Are you Pooty Well? — A SuitableMenu 46
VIII.
The Boas of the Aristocracy — The Prettiest Women inLondon — Shop Girls — Barmaids — Actresses andSupernumeraries — Miss Mary Anderson 58
IX.
The Demi-monde — Sly Dogs — The DisreputableWorld — The Society for the Protection ofWomen — Humble Apologies for Grave Mistakes 66
X.
Reflections of an Innocent upon Women in generaland Englishwomen in particular — Epistle to JohnBull — Women’s Rights — A Stormy Meeting — Viragosand other British Guys of the Sisterhoodof St. Catharine 72
XI.
Women at Home — Daughters, Wives, Widows, andMothers — Comparisons — The Hospitality of Mrs.John Bull — Provincial Life 83
[vii]XII.
Mrs. John Bull at Home on the .... R.S.V.P. — AnIntelligent Landlord — Meaning of the word“Concert” — The Conversazione — The RoyalAcademy 100
XIII.
Ladies of the Royal Family — Mrs. Christian — Minnieand Alec — The noble Lord the Poet-Laureate — Wantedan English Academy 110
XIV.
The Governess and other Servants of Mrs. John Bull’sHousehold — Lady-Helps — English and FrenchServants — Burglar Chase: the Policeman is successfulfor once 120
XV.
In the Smoking Room (Causerie) 136
XVI.
The Brune and the Blonde — Madame la Comtessed’A. and Lady B. chat a little about their husbands,discuss their respective merits, and indulge inseveral little confidences 146
XVII.
The Teetotal Mania — Second Epistle to John Bull — Thedarling Sin of Mrs. John Bull according toa Venerable Archdeacon and a few CharitableLadies — A free-born Briton, member of theYellow Ribbon Army 164
XVIII.
New Salvation Agencies — Priestess Rubbers — Asinusasinam fricat 176
[viii]XIX.
The Vicar’s Wife (Fragments)  
  I. 180
 II. 187
III. 200
XX.
Apotheosis of the Daughters of John Bull 209
XXI.
John Bull and His Island (Postscript) 228
Appendix 234

[ix]

HORS D’ŒUVRE.

In proposing the toast to the ladies at a Citydinner, one evening, Lord Derby expressed himselfin these terms:—

“Before appointing an Englishman to any postof importance, the first question the electors ask is:

“‘What kind of a wife has he?’”

And, indeed, the English, who introduce diplomacyinto everything, place discretion above allthe qualifications that an English candidate sendsto the members of an electing board, in the formof testimonials.

The chief thing required of a man who is to beplaced at the head of a Society, an Institution, aCollege, is that he should know how to maintainorder and good discipline: not with fuss andseverity, but with calmness and discretion; and theEnglish are quite right, for self-control and discretionare the two qualities that most fit a man for[x]government. “Now,” the electors say, “if Mr.So-and-So, who is one

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